What Would You Say
by AriaJack
Summary: Sequel to What If. What would I say if you told me you loved me?


What Would You Say

Ariajack

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

A/N: Well, I kept getting asked to write a sequel. So I did. BTW this isn't a happy story. Sorry.

Dear Diary,

Rose Tyler is dead. I always knew it would happen eventually, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. What gets me is that everything was so normal. I mean, we just stopped by London to pick up some new clothing and eat ice cream. How could everything go so wrong, so horribly wrong from eating ice cream? Well, in all fairness it wasn't the ice cream.

We did eat the ice cream and we were just wandering around the city, seeing the sites, laughing together, and already trying to decide where we going to go next. She was wearing pink. A pink hoodie with a white blouse and that ridiculous green skirt. She said she wanted to look like a rose. I said that she always looked like a rose. It's funny what you remember. It's just hilarious.

I remember we went to the park and fed the pigeons. Rose bought a donut at a nearby shop, but I just used my jelly babies. Three pigeons preferred jelly babies, the rest ate the donut. Rose bet me a shilling that none of the pigeons would eat jelly babies. I never did collect that bet.

I remember buying Rose a flower. It was a rose of course. It was a pink rose. She stuck it behind her ear and then forgot about it. I remember thinking that she should always wear flowers in her hair.

I remember she insisted we buy clothes at her old shop. Henrik's, I think. Maybe not. I don't remember that bit so well. I got bored and wandered over to the shoe department. I got a new pair of plimsoll's that were slightly squeaky. I think Rose got a new dress. I just remember that when we left she was dressed in purple, but she still had that flower in her hair.

The next bit I'll remember for the rest of my life. I don't think my nightmares will ever let me forget it. We walked by an alley, on our way back to her Mum's. Some guy stepped out, carrying a knife. He wanted Rose's purse, and my wallet. I told him to go mug someone else. I just had to be so bloody flippant, so very smart. He demanded the money again. I told him to back off. Rose backed me up. She always does…did. She always did.

He lunged at me. Do you get that? He went for me, not her. It happened so fast. How can something that took so long, happen so fast? She stepped in front of me. Oh Rose, you stupid, courageous, brilliant human. Why did you do that? I could have handled him. One street thug with a knife. The universe has a horrible sense of irony.

I couldn't really see what happened, because Rose was in front of me. I didn't need to see it. She gave a strange little gasping cough. Apparently that's the sound you make when you've been stabbed in the chest by a five inch knife. I guess you learn something every day.

She fell backwards against me. I caught her, but I barely understood what was happening. He stabbed her again before running off. In the stomach this time. The knife stayed there. He ran as fast he could, he didn't even look back. I hope he goes to a hell more horrible than I can imagine.

I remember trying to stop the blood from draining out of her body. There are six quarts of blood in the human body. At least two of those is on my coat. The other four are on the cement sidewalk, in front of a little alley somewhere between Henrik's clothing shop and the Powell Estate.

I remember thinking that the TARDIS was still half a mile or more away. I remember thinking that even if someone had called an ambulance two minutes before- hand they still wouldn't be there on time. She was slipping away so very fast. I remember my eyes started to blur up and I remember asking, no begging, her to stay with me. I remember pleading with her to hang on to life for a few more seconds. I remember the last words she said to me.

"Doctor?" she said. I've never hated that title more in my entire life than I do now. There I was, the great and powerful Doctor, the last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm, and I couldn't do anything to save her. All my skills and knowledge, and cleverness were worth absolutely nothing.

"What, Rose? What is it?"

"Do you remember when we went to that planet with the great sunsets?" She was choking on her own blood trying to ask me a question about sunsets. I almost panicked when I didn't know what she was talking about. Then I remembered Borden II. The sunset planet where I'd started that stupid, pointless, cowardly conversation about people in plays and What Ifs. Yes, I remembered it very clearly. Isn't it funny what you remember? It's just hilarious.

"Yeah, I remember it Rose."

"I was so scared… Stupid of me… Should have just said it then." There were tears sliding down my face by then. I remember them because one fell onto the rose that was still tangled in her hair.

"No. Rose, you were brilliant, absolutely brilliant." I don't know why I said that. It just seemed so important that she know that, but she already knew that. I'd told her a dozen times before that she was brilliant. I'd never told her what she was so desperately trying to tell me.

"I love you, Doctor." I choked on her words. A horrible sense of irony indeed. I'll never forgive myself for what happened next. I looked away from her. I looked at the alleyway instead of her. I lost my last chance to look her in the eyes and say it. I'm a worse coward than Mickey ever was. At least he told her what he should have, what I should have.

I remember that when I looked down again she was gone. All life had faded from her eyes, and I remember that the tear that had dripped onto the flower splashed onto Rose's forehead. I remember damning myself for a coward. I remember holding her as close to me as I could. She smelled like roses and blood.

I never did say those words. I just sat there and held her until the ambulance came and took her away. I sat in the hospital with her blood covering me and didn't say a single thing. I didn't even say anything when Jackie slapped me. I couldn't

I'm sorry Rose Tyler, I'm so sorry for all the things I should have told you and never did. I'm sorry for all the things I should have showed you and never had a chance to. I'm sorry for ever pulling you into my life. I'm so very sorry. Before I say goodbye though I want to answer a question I should have answered a long time ago. What would I say if you told me you loved me? I can finally answer that, now that's its far too late.

"I love you Rose Tyler."

"Goodbye"

A/N: I told you it wasn't happy. Now, if you cried, review. If you liked it review. If you hated it then review and leave a critique. Thank you. Goodbye.


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